Purchasing Ted McPain will permanently unlock this character in Awesomenauts. The character can also be purchased with Awesomepoints in-game.

Ted McPain is a complex fighter that switches between a shotgun plus an attack enhancing stimpack and a machine gun plus a targetable airstrike. He comes equipped with the following abilities:
 

• Call in an ion cannon airstrike for maximum damage.
• Use a stimpack and go berserk, enhancing your attack speed.
• Alternate between your shotgun and machinegun.

Ted McPain was one of the great heroes of the first AI Wars, a long time ago. He has led his squad of elite super soldiers, the Killer Koala’s, against many opponents and has been decorated as an outstanding soldier a hundred times over. His ultimate achievement, during the climax of the First AI Wars, was a solo operation onto the AI’s battle station Starstorm. This mission ended in Ted McPain single-handedly unhinging all of the station’s crucial power couplings, effectively making sure the station wouldn’t be completed before the end of the war.

Ted McPain eventually died when he sacrificed himself to save the Sunny-Daisy Alien Orphanage from a band of bloodthirsty dinosaur zombies in 3021. Ted’s heroic deeds would never be forgotten.

He lived on as he became the star of various video games: Ted McPain I through XVII, Ted McPain: Zombie Blast, Ted McPain vs. evil Ted McPain and Ted McPain Unicorn Dance Karting.

When Voltar The Omniscient learned of the violent dimwitted video game star, he brewed up a plan that would backfire horribly. He created the Materializotron XT8000 with which he wanted to bring back the war hero of old to be his personal assistant. Extracting Ted McPain’s digital essence from his video games, Voltar managed to materialize a life-size flesh and blood version. The Ted McPain that appeared though was missing his pants for unknown reasons. Voltar waved the issue aside saying “Stop asking stupid questions! He looks fine to me.”